


i love you to the moon (let's not go back)

by astragazer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Universe, Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Post-Canon, Red String of Fate, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28546440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astragazer/pseuds/astragazer
Summary: Red strings of fate.Tsukishima Kei never believes in such thing. An invisible thread that connects a person to someone else and would only become visible once you meet that person you are connected with, sounds far-fetched if he were to say so himself.But what he didn’t expect is, that far-fetched legend would soon come true when the red string became visible right before he met a certain guy back from high school.Kuroo Tetsuro.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63
Collections: Fave Haikyuu fic, Tsukki x Kuroo





	i love you to the moon (let's not go back)

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story contains mature contents.
> 
> Read at your own discretion.
> 
> Because I thought KuroTsuki ship deserve some appreciation. Here it is! Enjoy reading.

* * *

_“_ _It may tangle and stretch as oftentimes the case_

_But it shall never break_

_And the moon will illuminate upon the red strings of fate.”_

**_– i love you to the moon (let’s not go back) by astragazer_ **

* * *

He’s heard about the legend, the red string of fate, quite often before when he was a kid. One legend in particular tells about an old man who lives in the moon and every night he would visit the land of the mortal and find amongst them kin souls and attach around their pinky a thread that will connect them to their fated pair. They say the thread is the colour of blood, so as to be able to be seen clearer and it would become visible under two circumstances.

One, when the person finally meets his or her fated pair.

Two, when the moon shines upon it.

But Tsukishima Kei has yet to meet either of the two circumstances.

“Where were we again?” He asked, being lost in the sea of thoughts about the red thread and only realizing that Yamaguchi has been waiting for his answer to a question that Tsukishima has forgotten about.

“The get-together,” Yamaguchi stated with a smile as usual as he looked at Tsukishima. “Are you going, Tsukki?”

The nickname that has been stuck since middle school, Tsukishima never actually paid much attention to it. Even after graduating from high school to finally getting a job after College, Yamaguchi still calls him that.

“Get-together,” Tsukishima repeated, taking a sip of his coffee that has gone lukewarm like the autumn Miyagi breeze.

Times like this when he could have a peaceful morning in a café with his friend is rare, especially when they’ve got a job of their own. But if things like this are rare, then Tsukishima knew a get-together is even rarer.

“Everyone would be there, even Hinata and Kageyama,” Yamaguchi said, as if the mention of the freak duo would initiate Tsukishima to finally going to the get-together. Or perhaps it was to challenge him up. If those two, who were professional Division 1 V-League players, could go, then Tsukishima has no excuse not to go.

“I’ll think about it.”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to go, but he also doesn’t feel like he wanted to. At least he has some time to think about it.

A get-together with those guys from high school, Tsukishima doesn’t want to admit it out loud, but he does miss those guys. Especially the way they get so riled up at the slightest snarky remarks from Tsukishima.

“Oh, and the guys from Nekoma and Fukurodani would be there too!” Yamaguchi stated after a while, as if he just remembered it.

Tsukishima suddenly looked at him, as if he was interested all of a sudden, just the slightest that it could hardly be noticeable, when he heard about those two schools from Tokyo who played a part in his high school Volleyball career. He could still remember Bokuto telling him something about experiencing that moment that will get him hooked on volleyball. But if Bokuto were to bring that up now, Tsukishima would just say he has forgotten about it or something along that line.

“When is it?” he asked, and Yamaguchi perked up.

“Next week in Tokyo,” he said, his smile widening. “I’ll see you there Tsukki.”

“I didn’t say I was going.”

Even if he said that, Yamaguchi knew he is. He wouldn’t have asked if he isn’t going.

“I’ll text you the details soon,” Yamaguchi said after a while and Tsukishima just nodded his head slightly.

“You should go, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima knew Yamaguchi isn’t someone who would tell him what to do. Maybe there were a few rare instances when he just burst and he would only do that to knock some sense out of Tsukishima, but he never insisted something Tsukishima doesn’t like. But the way he said he should go, made Tsukishima raise his eyebrow at him in question.

“A-ah, I mean, it’s not that I’m pushing you to go or something,” he said after realizing how his previous statement turned out. His cheeks started to redden in embarrassment and he frantically shook his hands.

“Then what is it?”

“Well, it would be nice to go since there will be lots of people there. And you never know, maybe you will be able to find the other end of the thre—”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, cutting him off even before he could finish his statement.

His eyebrows furrowed as he narrowed his eyes and Yamaguchi gulped visibly.

“I told you, there’s no thread,” Tsukishima said after a while, closing his eyes before he opened them again and looked down at his hand.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said lowly, the look of concern making its way on his face.

“Do you remember when our homeroom teacher back in grade school was asked if everyone has the thread tied around their pinky?” Tsukishima started. “She said it depends upon the person, the old man who lives in the moon only grant the red thread to kind-hearted individuals and there’s no telling when they will receive their own.”

Maybe it was the fact that after all those years Tsukishima still remembered it that made Yamaguchi’s concern vanished slightly. The fact that he could still remember must have meant he often thinks about it.

“Maybe I’m not a kind-hearted person,” Tsukishima said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi said, a little louder as if to reprimand him. “That’s not true! I know more than anyone how kind you are. You were the one who helped me when I was getting bullied.”

“I didn’t help. I was simply passing by and those kids were really lame to begin with. Bullying someone weaker than them, tch so uncool.”

Silence engulfed them right after, not the awkward kind of silence. Just silence.

Until Tsukishima spoke.

“But you know, I think it’s for the better,” he said, surprising Yamaguchi for a second. “It’s better if the thread don’t appear since my time is running ou—”

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi said, now his turn to cut him off like Tsukishima did earlier. “Don’t say that.”

“What’s wrong? Aren’t we all going to run out of time? The only thing is that, I knew mine will run out soon.”

Yamaguchi didn’t say anything, at least not for a few seconds. He knew that, he knew that much yet he wanted to tell Tsukishima his time isn’t going to run out soon. Even if he try to look like he’s accepted it, he knew Tsukishima is just too good at hiding it.

But Yamaguchi doesn’t want to dwell on the subject more so he gave in first by changing the subject.

“Ah, Tsukki, I need to get going soon. I don’t want to make Yacchan wait.”

Yachi, whom as far as Tsukishima is concern, is going out with Yamaguchi. He thought it was during College when Yamaguchi told him the thread appeared. He could not really tell if he’s telling the truth or just exaggerating over it. Thread? Tsukishima didn’t see anything around Yamaguchi’s finger. And a few weeks later Tsukishima got a message from Yamaguchi stating that he had found the other end of the thread and it’s connected to the person they knew all too well.

Yachi, who served as the assistant manager during their first year at Karasuno and the official manager during the second and third year.

“Then why are you still here?” Tsukishima asked, although it may sound a bit rude to anyone, Yamaguchi isn’t very much affected as he smiled. “What? You expect me to go third-wheeling or something?”

“That’s why I told you to wait until the thread appear and we could go on a double date, Tsukki.”

“Shut up Yamaguchi,” he said before he waved his hand dismissively and Yamaguchi stood up.

Tsukishima watched his retreating figure as he mingled with the crowd and completely disappeared from sight.

“Red string of fate,” Tsukishima muttered.

It’s not like he doesn’t completely believe in it. Although he does still discard the idea, not until the thread appears before his eyes. But he hope it would never happen.

They say some people got their threads at a young age, some got theirs once they’re older. So there’s a chance that they could have met their soulmate without knowing it because the thread has not been tied to them yet.

“Or maybe it’s just a myth to justify everyone’s love story,” Tsukishima muttered, finishing his thought out loud before he stood up.

The bitter aftertaste of the coffee linger in his mouth like the way he so bitterly reject the idea of the red string of fate.

* * *

**(6:30 am) Yamaguchi: Tsukki! We’ll meet at Tokyo NEOsky, Saturday night. See ya there!**

The ring of his phone was what woke him up as Tsukishima sat up, reading the text message with squinted eyes before he took his glasses and re-read it.

“Tokyo NEOsky,” he repeated out loud.

He knew about the place. It’s famous for people who like to go partying at night. A bar located somewhere in the 54-storey Roppongi Hills Mori Tower in Minato, Tokyo. The place wasn’t really in his cup of tea. Too loud, too blinding and too many people. He knew those guys in Tokyo must have been the one who suggested the place, as someone who was born and raised in the quiet Sendai City, in the far-off prefectural Miyagi, he isn’t much use to places like that.

But what choice does he have?

“I’ll just show myself for half an hour and I’ll be out of there,” he muttered, sighing before he stood up and start off his day.

Just same as usual.

Except it wasn’t.

He knew something was off since he went to work. But he tried to brush it off like nothing as usual. Not until he felt the sting around his fingers, like something just pricked him. He tried to ignore it the whole day, busying himself in the museum.

It wasn’t until he got to his apartment that he saw it.

As he stood outside in the porch, he saw it. His hand froze before he could turn the knob.

The moon was full that night and it illuminated the thread so vividly he couldn’t have been imagining it. The thread was tied around his pinky, flowing in mid-air like a weightless feather and then fading out in the distance.

Seconds passed as he comprehends what he is seeing before he looked up the moon.

“You,” he said. “You’re really cruel, aren’t you?”

He scoffed before he looked down and shook his head. His back hit the door as he slid down and sat there on the floor, his head between his knees.

“Why?” he asked to no one in particular, the thread seems to glow under the luminance of the pale celestial body. “You don’t have to tie a thread to me since I’ll be leaving soon. So why?!”

He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get how the gods can be so cruel sometimes. Maybe it was far beyond his comprehension, but that night he found himself blaming the old man in the moon.

Now that the thread appeared, he knew sooner or later he’s bound to meet that person whose thread is connected to his. And whoever that person is, Tsukishima only pity them for they will suffer more than they realize.

* * *

Tetsurou Kuroo isn’t very fond of partying, he may look like someone who goes to the bar every night but really, he doesn’t. Even during College, he would often lock himself in his dorm and read thick books about anything science related that everyone actually thought he might have been a scientist by now.

But after College, he started working in a Sports Promotion Division at Japan Volleyball Association. Something that he never regrets since he may not admit it, a part of him still doesn’t want to let go of that nostalgia his high school volleyball career brought every time he sees young aspiring Volleyball players. And maybe that’s why, despite being quite busy, he still agreed right away when he was asked if he could go to the get-together.

“You should go, Kenma,” he said over the phone as he drove through the busy night street of Tokyo.

“I don’t know, maybe?” Kenma’s voice has always sounded so languid. “If I feel like it.”

“Saturday, Tokyo NEOsky. Be there or I’ll drag your lazy ass.”

To think that Kuroo was the one who used to be shy and withdrawn when he was a kid, now he’s become even more sociable and Kenma couldn’t keep up.

“Aren’t you busy with work, Kuro?”

“I can spare some time. Besides, it’s Saturday, I’m free the next day so to hell with hangover.”

Kuroo heard a heavy sigh before he heard Kenma say yes and the call ended.

He arrived at an apartment complex a few minutes afterwards. The unit he got is pretty spacious for just himself and more often than not he felt lonelier when he’s at home. But it was Bokuto who convinced him to buy this unit because one can never be certain of the future and he might end up living with his partner in this unit.

Upon stepping inside the living room, he immediately fell on the couch as he loosen his tie, putting his arm atop his forehead as he closed his eyes for a while before he opened them again and his eyes travelled to his pinky as he lifted his hand.

“I wonder where the other end is connected to,” he muttered, the moonlight reflects from the glass window as the thread glowed faintly. It’s been five years since the thread appeared and he thought he already met his fated pair when Kenma’s thread appeared too. But it turned out, it wasn’t Kenma.

So for five years, the thread glowed ever so faintly. “I can’t wait to meet you.”

His usually mischievous smile turned soft as his eyes started to get heavier. Before he fell asleep, a thought escaped his lips.

“Red string of fate,”

* * *

Tsukishima ended up going to the get-together. He was planning to tell Yamaguchi he couldn’t go but decided against it at the last minute and now he found himself taking a five hour drive from Sendai to Tokyo. Yamaguchi went on ahead with Yachi and took the train so Tsukishima drove alone.

It was already night when he arrived and as he drove through the unfamiliar street of Tokyo, Tsukishima couldn’t help but look around. It’s night yet the street is much lit with lights. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel when the traffic light turned red and his eyes caught the faint glow of the thread.

“Tch, this is annoying,” he muttered, gripping the steering wheel when the light turned green and he sped up.

He finally got to Mori Tower after being lost twice, taking the wrong route, he was so ready to go back to Sendai if he got lost the third time.

The famous Mori Tower is one of the tallest towers in Tokyo and outside stood a spider statue, the eight-legged creature looks creepy yet artistic at the same time.

He got a text from Yamaguchi just as he got inside the building.

**(8:30 pm) Yamaguchi: Tsukki, Tokyo NEOsky is at the 30 th floor.**

He sighed before he put his phone back in his pocket and went to the lift.

There were a lot of people and the windows are made of glass so everyone can see the outside as they walk in the hallway. Tsukishima headed to the bar with the name Tokyo NEOsky written in romaji.

The first thing he noticed was the loud music banging through the walls of the club. By the time he set his foot inside the place, he immediately decided he disliked it. The smell of liquor mixed with perfumes instantly wafted in his nostrils that he had to scrunch his nose before inhaling a breath. The music was way too loud, it was a mix of some western rap song that he could hardly understand, not that the lyrics are coherent to begin with.

“Hey, hey, hey! Tsukki, you made it in one piece!”

The voice was familiar, way too familiar for Tsukishima’s liking. It came from behind and Tsukishima was so tempted to ignore it, maybe act like he didn’t hear anything because of the loud music. But before he could take his escape route, an arm suddenly fell on his shoulder and Bokuto was already beside him.

“Been a while, Tsukki. Heard you’re a V-League player too!” he said, more like, he yelled. But he doesn’t really have to since he’s too close to Tsukishima he could have heard him if he talk normally.

But then again, it’s Bokuto, and as far as Tsukishima is concern, this is his normal way of speaking.

“Bokuto-san, they’re waiting for us over there,” Akaashi came and pointed to a table by the corner where almost everyone was already seated.

“Let’s go, Tsukki!” Bokuto said as he started to walk, still has his arm on Tsukishima’s shoulder as he practically dragged him.

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” Tsukishima muttered but he let Bokuto dragged him anyways.

As they made their way to the table, familiar faces greeted Tsukishima. All from high school, to think that they would still meet like this after all those years, maybe it was the bond created through sports that has been one of the most unbreakable bonds.

And speaking of bonds, Tsukishima doesn’t need to take a second guess to know who are bonded with whom among the people here. Yamaguchi and Yachi are a given. Tsukishima noticed that Bokuto and Akaashi were close, not that they aren’t already back in high school to begin with, but he could just tell that they’re different now. Kageyama and Hinata, despite being on different teams and recently went to a match against each other, Tsukishima knew they’re together, it’s not like they’re trying to hide it, if anything they are the most obvious here.

“Oi, Hinata! Don’t drink more than you can handle. I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

“Last time?” Hinata asked but then his expression changed into a sly grin. “But Kageyama-kun, I thought you enjoyed it.”

“H-Hinata boke!”

Judging by Kageyama’s flustered expression, Tsukishima has an idea about what they could have been talking about, but he just chose to ignore it and pretend he didn’t just figure out what it was Hinata was referring to. Even in their relationship, it may not look like it, but Hinata seem to be the one with the upper hand. Much like in Volleyball, it was the spiker who usually demands the ultimate toss from the setter.

“By the way, Tsukki, I heard you’re playing for Sendai Frogs, eh?” Bokuto said, the topic that Tsukishima thought he has already forgotten.

“It was just a Division 2 V-League,” Tsukishima answered, rubbing the back of his neck. Compared to Bokuto, Hinata and Kageyama, who play in the Division 1 V-League, Tsukishima doesn’t really consider himself professional in that league, more like he’s only playing because he works in Sendai Museum.

“But still, that’s awesome Tsukki! Who knew you’d still play Volleyball after saying ‘it’s just a club’ during the training Camp!” Bokuto’s imitation of the way Tsukishima said it back then was spot-on that almost everyone hollered in laughter.

Tsukishima just shook his head discreetly and ignored them. They seem happy, energetic, too hyper for his liking that it feels like his energy is being sucked dry the longer he stay with them.

“Wait, Kuroo-san isn’t here yet?” Akaashi asked, as usual, always the observant as he looked around.

“Oh, speaking of the devil,” Bokuto said, looking ahead and Tsukishima followed his gaze.

It was Kuroo who arrived with Kenma hiding behind his tall frame.

Tsukishima knew, among all the people here, aside from Kageyama and Hinata, these two had always been too obvious as well. Since as far back as during high school, they have always been close together and it would have been more surprising if their thread isn’t connected.

“Kenma!” Hinata’s voice was heard first as he stood up but then Kageyama quickly pulled him back down.

“Shouyo,” Kenma greeted back, much more languidly as he sat beside him.

“Tsukki, you’re here,” Kuroo said before he looked at Bokuto who so obviously turned the other way as if avoiding his stare. “I actually made a bet with Bokuto here that you would come to the get-together,” he said before he lean in and took a bottle of liquor as he straightened up.

“Bokuto, where’s my fifty bucks?”

Bokuto visibly flinched before he felt Akaashi’s narrowed eyes at him. “Bokuto-san, you didn’t tell me anything about making a bet with Kuroo-san.”

“Bet? What bet? I haven’t even agreed on anything, Kuroo!”

Kuroo just laughed before he went over to Bokuto like a yakuza threatening a man with a big debt.

Tsukishima looked around him, anywhere he looks, all of them seem to be enjoying the night and he’s the only one who feels otherwise.

“I should probably go soon,” he muttered, looking down to check the time from his phone.

No one must have heard him but Kuroo looked at him, not that Tsukishima noticed it.

He didn’t know Kuroo has been watching him and he was the first one, probably the only one, who notice that Tsukishima left because everyone was too busy chattering that they didn’t even notice Kuroo leaving as well.

He found Tsukishima in the part of the tower where people usually go sight-seeing. Unlike the bar, it’s quiet here and less crowded, the walls are made of glass making the view in front clear with its breath-taking cityscape that people can admire for as long as they want.

Tsukishima noticed the moon is full that night, there weren’t any clouds, the pale celestial body hovered above the city of Tokyo as if reminding the people that the night is too far from being over. He has always found comfort in looking at the moon, but recently Tsukishima started to dislike it. Whenever he looks at it, he was reminded of the thread that is so irritatingly attached around his finger, and it reminded him of how sooner or later, somewhere in Miyagi or Tokyo, he will find that person whose thread is connected to his.

The person who will surely suffer more than they could have realized.

“Tsukki,” Kuroo’s voice pulled him out of his reverie as Tsukishima noticed him walking up beside him. “Why’d you leave? They’re just about to play strip poker.”

“Huh?” Tsukishima’s lack of knowledge with those kind of things made Kuroo laugh as he look at Tsukishima’s confuse facial expression.

After a second Tsukishima averted his gaze back ahead before he inclined his head. Kuroo leaned on the railing, putting his arms atop as he clasped his hands together.

It was then Tsukishima saw it, the thread that was glowing so faintly suddenly flickered lightly like a light switching on and off before it started to radiate a crimson glow and Tsukishima furrowed his brows. He followed the thread until his eyes settled on the hand of the person whose thread is connected to his.

Kuroo’s hand.

Tsukishima hasn’t given it much thought. About what will occur when he finally meet the person who has the other end of the thread, maybe because he was convince his time would run out before he could meet them. So Tsukishima just let his future self handle what the future holds.

But now that it finally happened and is occurring at this moment, Tsukishima doesn’t have the slightest idea about what to do, so he just stood there quietly.

And maybe it was his silence that pulled Kuroo into looking at him and when he saw he was looking at his hand, Kuroo looked at it too.

It was as if time slowed down to stillness as Kuroo looked at the glowing thread and followed where it is connected.

But then time started to tick again when Tsukishima immediately moved his hand and put it behind him.

“Tsukki, I think I just saw—” Kuroo started but was quickly cut off when Tsukishima spoke.

“No, you must have seen something else.”

“Can I see your hand?”

Tsukishima instinctively took a step back and that cause Kuroo to take a step forward, he was so close into prying his arm from his back when Bokuto’s voice suddenly came and startled them.

“Tsukki, Kuroo! We’ve been looking all over for you gu—” Bokuto was cut off, his hand froze midair as he was waving at them, when Tsukishima stormed passed him followed by Kuroo who run after Tsukishima.

“Akaashi..” Bokuto trailed off, his face blank. “Did those two just ignore me?”

Bokuto clenched his hand into fist as he turned around and was about to run after the two when Akaashi held his arm and shook his head.

“I think it’s best if we leave them alone for now,” Akaashi said, looking at where the two disappeared. He has always been the observant between the two of them and he knew by the looks of it, that something might have happened.

It wasn’t that Kuroo provoked Tsukishima again, Akaashi knew it was something else entirely this time. Otherwise, Kuroo wouldn’t have run so desperately after Tsukishima like that.

* * *

Kuroo was sure of it. Even for a split second, he was sure of it, even if Tsukishima was able to put his hand behind him quickly, Kuroo was sure of what he saw.

The thread that glowed so faintly for the last five years have started to show its luminance so bright Kuroo had to avert his gaze as he followed Tsukishima down the parking lot. He doesn’t even know why he’s running when they could have talked things over on a more casual note.

Maybe he was just too surprise, Kuroo is quite surprise too but it wasn’t enough to run away like that.

“Tsukki wai—” he was cut off momentarily when he saw Tsukishima fell and he was right beside him in seconds.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Tsukishima didn’t drink that much, but Kuroo wouldn’t have known since the smell of liquor was quite strong, he wouldn’t have known it was the usual headache Tsukishima has been so irritatingly dealing with for the last month. Sometimes he would be out for a whole day after passing out and one time he did end up waking up in the hospital after passing out during a match, the coach prompted him to take a rest this season.

“I’m fine Kuroo-sa—” Tsukishima wasn’t able to finish his statement when he felt a sudden splitting headache again before oblivion took him over in its clutches.

Kuroo thought he must have been drunk already, a lightweight he presume. He fumbled with his pocket to get his car key when he remembered Kenma had it since Kuroo convinced him to drive here, an additional free driving lesson for Kenma since he needed to get his driver’s license soon but he kept ditching it.

So with a sigh, as he held Tuskishima up, he apologized before he fumbled with his pocket and found the car key. Pressing the key to unlock the car and find where it was at the same time, he went over the vehicle and put Tsukishima in the passenger seat carefully before he went to the driver seat and drove back to his apartment unit.

While driving, Kuroo couldn’t help but steal some glances at Tsukishima once in a while and he might have looked too long that he almost crash into another car.

“Stop it Tetsurou, it’s not like he’s going to disappear. Just focus on driving.” He scolded himself as he fixed his gaze in front until they got to the apartment complex.

He didn’t have a hard time carrying Tsukishima, judging that he doesn’t weigh much. He’d carried Bokuto once before when he got drunk during the after party in College and Kuroo felt like he’s going to be crashed down to death. Compared to Bokuto, Tsukishima weigh like a feather.

When he got inside his unit, Kuroo thought about putting Tsukishima on the couch, but it doesn’t seem too comfortable for him. There was a spare room but Kuroo found himself taking him in his room instead as he lay him down on his comfortable bed and pulled the sheet.

A second later, his phone started to vibrate in his pocket and Kenma’s name was displayed on the screen.

“Kenma, you wouldn’t believe what just happened.”

“Where are you, Kuro?” Kenma sounded annoyed for a second and Kuroo almost flinched before he chuckled lightly, a little forcefully.

“Oh, well—I kinda went back earlier than expected.”

“And you left me here?”

Things happened so suddenly that he didn’t have time to go back to Tokyo NEOsky and lose sight of Tsukishima.

“Sorry Kenma. You can take my car back to your house, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

“I’ll do it even if you don’t tell me anyway,” he said. “So, what was it you were about to tell me earlier? What just happened?”

Judging by the fact that Kuroo doesn’t hear any noise or loud music at the other end of the line, he knew Kenma is somewhere away from people.

“Ah, that,” Kuroo started before he looked at Tsukishima, his light intake of breath must have meant he is sound asleep.

“I met my fated pair. The person whose thread is connected to mine, I met that person tonight and you wouldn’t guess who it was.”

“Tsukishima?”

Surprise was written all over his face as Kuroo blinked his eyes. After how he solemnly said those words earlier, Kenma guess it right away.

“Eh? How did you know?”

“No, I mean Shouyo was looking for Tsukishima so I was wondering if you saw him. But, wait, what did you say?”

“Eh?” Kuroo muttered, blinking his eyes rapidly before he inclined his head, rubbing his forehead before he cleared his throat. “It was Tsukki, his thread is connected to mine.”

“Ah, I see. I’m happy for you, Kuro.”

It’s not like he expect any less than that from Kenma. And he may not sound like it but Kuroo knew he is.

“Really, I am,” he repeated and even if Kuroo couldn’t see him, he just know that he is smiling and Kuroo was happy too, to have a friend like Kenma.

“Go pick your car tomorrow,” he said before he ended the call.

Kuroo just shook his head and put his phone atop the nightstand before he sat on the bed beside Tsukishima.

He took his hand where the thread is tied around his pinky. It was still glowing, but faintly this time since the moon isn’t shining upon it.

They say when one finally found the other end of the thread, it would be as though reasons don’t apply to describe what one feels at that moment. It was something that transcends the human capacity to describe it, the fleeting moment when the thread glowed so brightly with its crimson luminance would feel like time stood still.

And perhaps it was what Kuroo felt during that split second when he saw Tsukishima’s hand and the thread around his finger that is connected to his own thread. Even after he put his hands behind him right away, Kuroo knew what he saw.

And now, he has all the time in the world to admire it as he held his hand. The thread around his thin finger, flowing like feather towards his own thread.

“Who would have thought it would be you?” his voice was low and silent as to not wake him up. “I waited five years for you. Maybe your thread had not appeared back when we were in high school, but if it had, I wouldn’t have let you go so easily.”

Tsukishima slowly stirred in his sleep and Kuroo thought the time he gets to admire him would be cut shortly. But Tsukishima didn’t wake up and Kuroo’s lips turn up in a small smile before he put his hand back down beside him.

“Good night, Tsukki,” he said before he left. Even though it was tempting to sleep on his bed beside him, Kuroo decided to settle in the spare room but he didn’t get a wink of sleep the whole night.

* * *

Tsukishima’s memories were hazy when he woke up the next day. He was lying on an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room and he couldn’t remember much about what happened the night before.

“This must have been the hotel room,” he muttered as he sat up, grunting in the process as he held his head.

“Just what in the world happened last night?”

His eyes went over his hand, the thread that used to glow so faintly, sometimes even going unnoticeable during the day, has gone a little visible this time and as he stare longer at it, the thread flowing ahead, his mind slowly whirled back to last night’s events.

From when he left Tokyo NEOsky, Kuroo joining him and eventually finding out that the thread was connected to his. Tsukishima remembered leaving but then he suddenly blacked out in the parking lot even before he got to his car. After that he doesn’t know what occurred up until he woke up here. He doesn’t even know if this is really the hotel room.

Just right in the middle of his inner conflict, the door opened and came right there was Kuroo who was holding a mug as he walked inside the room.

Tsukishima eyed him warily, especially the smile that is slowly widening as he made his way towards him and placed the mug on the nightstand.

“It’s tea to cure your hangover.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” Tsukishima said. He didn’t even finish a glass last night.

“Oh? But you fainted.”

The fact that Kuroo already assumed that he must be drunk made Tsukishima realized he doesn’t know anything about him fainting quite a lot before. So as to not go over the trouble of explaining, Tsukishima took the mug and took a sip of the tea. At least it warmed his stomach.

Tsukishima was aware that Kuroo has been staring at him and he couldn’t shrug it off as he looked at him.

“What is it?” he asked, furrowing his brows.

“Nothing. I’m just admiring the person whose thread is connected to mine.”

At the mention of it, Tsukishima instinctively hid his hand but Kuroo just smiled.

“I had all the time in the world last night to make sure of it. So even if you hide it now, it won’t change the fact that we have one and the same thread connecting us.”

There was silence afterwards, momentarily as Tsukishima put the mug back and looked down. One thing is certain, the thread has been visible and clearer now than before.

“So? What now?” he asked, breaking the silence as he looked at Kuroo. “Just because our thread is connected doesn’t mean I’ll magically fall in love with you. If anything, I’m actually really annoyed right now and will you please stop staring at me like that?”

Kuroo just chuckled, he thought Tsukishima sounded exactly like before when they were in high school and it brought memories back during the training camp.

“You’re right,” Kuroo started. “Most people don’t fall in love with their pair right away, it takes time and requires process. But no matter how long it takes it wouldn’t change the fact that our lives are connected to one another now.”

Connected. A week ago Tsukishima would have laughed at the idea of the red string binding fated pairs for the rest of their lives. He has often thought about it, and the thought can be scary, for the rest of their lives. One is bound to leave sooner and the other is bound to be left forever, so for the rest of their lives, it sounded so far-fetched as much as the idea of the red string of fate.

“As you said, Kuroo-san, I don’t feel anything towards you right now. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go take my leave, I still have a lot of things to do back in Sendai.”

Tsukishima stood up and headed outside the room, he doesn’t even know how he got here but he guess his car was left in Mori Tower.

Or not.

Kuroo stopped by the hallway and took a car key before he called Tsukishima who was already by the door.

“I used your car last night to drive us here. Kenma got my car, do you mind if I hitch a ride to his place?”

Tsukishima nodded but he didn’t say anything as they went outside.

The rest of the car ride was silent except for when Kuroo told Tsukishima the way to Kenma’s house. As the car stopped right outside a gate in an upscale but quiet neighbourhood, Kuroo sat there for a second.

“Are you not going to step outside, Kuroo-san?” Tsukishima asked, and even though that may have sounded rude, he just doesn’t know why he is still sitting there.

Kuroo sighed inaudibly before he turned to Tsukishima.

“Tsukki, you may not feel anything towards me right now, but at least know this,” he started and Tsukishima felt like he doesn’t want to hear the rest of what Kuroo is about to say.

“Our lives are connected to one another now, as long as this thread remains visible, no matter where you go, this thread will always lead me to you.”

No matter where he goes. Tsukishima wanted to say it out loud, he wanted to ask Kuroo if the place he’s about to go is somewhere over yonder, will he follow him there too? But Tsukishima remained silent until he noticed Kuroo’s hand near him and before he knew it, he was touching his cheek and Tsukishima flinched.

“I’ll see you soon, Tsukki,” he said before he leaned in.

But before anything unexpected happened again, him touching Tsukishima’s face like that is already unexpected enough as it is, Tsukishima leaned out and looked the other way.

Kuroo chuckled and leaned out as well, making Tsukishima lower his guard down but a second later he felt something soft touched his lips for a split second that he was not able to process what just happened right away as Tsukishima’s eyes widen at the same time Kuroo’s grin does.

“Next time, I wouldn’t settle for just a peck,” he said before he stepped outside the car, leaving Tsukishima whose ears turned completely red.

“What did he just…” he trailed off, his hand slowly touching his bottom lip. “..do?”

Tsukishima couldn’t believe what he just did. He let his guard down for a split second and he was able to do something so bold like that. Like the way he used to block opponents, a total shutout, that left everyone speechless and stunned, Tsukishima felt exactly like that as he stare ahead at where Kuroo disappeared to.

* * *

“You…what?!” Hinata yelled the moment he heard what Tsukishima said.

They were in a coffee shop near Sendai City gymnasium right after the match, though Tsukishima didn’t play, he still went to watch his teammates and by utter coincidence, Kageyama and Hinata were there as well.

“Hinata, you’re overreacting,” Kageyama said before he turned to Tsukishima. “So you’re saying that, you and Kuroo-san has a connected thread and that he is your fated pair?”

“Something like that,” Tsukishima answered, taking a sip of his cappuccino. He wasn’t really planning to tell them but it just slipped out of his mouth and he thought he could at least ask Kageyama about what happened when he found out his thread is connected to Hinata’s.

The get-together occurred about a week ago and Tsukishima hasn’t heard anything about Kuroo. He tried to get rid of the memory about what he did in the car but he just couldn’t do it.

“When you two found out that your thread is connected to one another, what did you feel?”

“What do you mean what did we feel?” Hinata asked, taking a bite of the cupcake. “Woah! This is so good! I need to buy a whole box.”

Hinata seems like he’s already forgotten what Tsukishima asked as he went over to the counter and Kageyama just sighed.

“What I felt?” he repeated as Tsukishima looked at him but Kageyama was looking at Hinata. “I wouldn’t say I’d die for that guy. But I definitely couldn’t leave without him.”

Just as Kageyama was being serious, Tsukishima couldn’t let the opportunity pass as he smirked and his whole demeanour changed.

“King, you’re admitting your feelings now? That’s totally unlike you.”

“Huh?! Tsukishima you jerk!” Kageyama yelled, earning some stares from the patrons before he sighed and composed himself. “But really, maybe you wouldn’t feel it now, but I’m sure you would start feeling something towards Kuroo-san. Otherwise, why connect your thread to each other to begin with?”

Tsukishima was thinking the same thing. There must have been a reason why it was him. But it was the one reason Tsukishima doesn’t want to know or else, the fact that he has already accepted what little time he has left in this world, might seriously change.

“But you know Tsukishima,” Hinata said as he sat back down with a box of cupcake already in hand. “Aren’t Kenma and Kuroo-san—” Hinata was cut off when he felt Kageyama kicked his foot under the table.

“—really close friends,” he finished before he laughed, quite forcefully.

Tsukishima isn’t an idiot not to know what Hinata was about to say.

He thought so too, after all, that Kenma and Kuroo are fated pairs.

* * *

When Tsukishima was almost convinced that Kuroo has completely forgotten about him and this whole red string of fate thing, Tsukishima found him standing outside the porch of his house.

“How did you know I leave here?” Tsukishima asked.

“Ah Tsukki!” Kuroo greeted him with the same wide grin as always. “I told you, as long as this thread remains visible, I’ll always find you.”

“But that doesn’t answer my question. How did you know this is my house?”

“A little crow told me,” he answered with a sly grin and Tsukishima knew it was Hinata.

With a sigh, quite heavy as Kuroo heard it, Tsukishima made his way to the front door.

“Since you’re here, it would be rude if I don’t invite you inside. Though I might as well ask you to leave right away.”

“Tsukki, why are you so cold towards me?”

Tsukishima turned to Kuroo with a smile, but the smile was not reassuring or genuine, more like it was a smile to prove how annoyed he is at the moment.

“What are you talking about, Kuroo-san? This is how I normally act to everyone.”

Kuroo flinched before he chuckled forcefully and Tsukishima turned back around. But before he could open thaedoor, Kuroo spoke.

“Actually, I was planning to bring you somewhere to have dinner.”

Tsukishima’s hand froze before he could turn the knob. He realized it would be for the better if Kuroo don’t come in his house and see it.

“Sure,” Tsukishima said, surprising Kuroo that he actually agreed right away without any remarks.

Kuroo drove to a restaurant Hinata told him about earlier, saying that it’s definitely Tsukishima’s type of restaurant. Kuroo could have seen why as the restaurant was not as fancy, at least not for something like a first date.

“It’s my treat tonight so you should eat as much as you can Tsukki,” Kuroo said before he looked at Tsukishima’s plate that doesn’t even have half of the food compared to Kuroo’s plate.

“Sure,” Tsukishima muttered before he completely ignore Kuroo’s stare.

“Tsukki, you’re worse than a girl on a strict diet—”

“Huh?” Tsukishima asked, his demeanour changed and he looks extra irritated.

“I-I mean, you should eat more…actually, nevermind.”

They ate dinner in silence after that, at least not the awkward kind of silence that would make them unable to taste the food. It was just silence with only the sound of utensils and the chatter of people drifting in the background.

Nothing much occurred through the course of dinner and Tsukishima found himself in the car again with Kuroo driving back to his house.

And as he walk up the porch, Tsukishima stopped by the front door before he turned to Kuroo.

“Thanks,” he said before he averted his gaze.

Kuroo’s eyes travelled down the thread, it was glowing again, during the night under the luminance of the moon, Kuroo still remember what Tsukishima said a week ago.

“This may not be enough to make you feel something towards me. But I’m just getting started, as long as this thread remains visible, I wouldn’t stop.”

Tsukishima looked up, he was about to say something along the line of ‘Kuroo-san is being too into it’ but just as Tsukishima was about to speak, he found himself being caught off guard again.

But this time, the kiss lasted longer than before. Tsukishima could taste the sweet citrus drink Kuroo had earlier. Kuroo frowned slightly when he didn’t feel him responding to the kiss, so he leaned out, thinking that he might have cross the line for real this time. But when he looked at Tsukishima, his ears weren’t the only thing that’s red, his face is covered in crimson blush as he averted his gaze as if he couldn’t look at Kuroo.

“I told you last time that I wouldn’t settle for a peck this time. Next time, who knows what I might—”

“Go,” Tsukishima muttered, still wasn’t able to look Kuroo in the eye. “Just leave, Kuroo-san.”

“S-Sure,” Kuroo said, a bit surprise that he wasn’t yelling or saying any snarky remarks. Maybe Tsukishima was too flustered. “But are you alright? Your face is so red and—”

“Kuroo-san, just go,”

Kuroo knew a mere dinner wouldn’t be enough to make him feel anything towards him. But he didn’t say he would just settle for mere dinners, the kiss definitely made him feel something, and his words may have deny it, but that flustered expression wouldn’t.

The moment Tsukishima was sure Kuroo already left, he went inside his house. The hallway was dark and the living room was dimly lit. He hasn’t taken two steps at most when his knees gave in and he slid down the wall, his head fell between his knees as he closed his eyes.

“Calm down,” he muttered. “It’s just a kiss, so calm down…heart.”

The thread glowed brighter at the same time Kuroo noticed his thread glowing as well.

“His heart must be racing right now,” he said with a smile, knowing that the thread is connected to the heart, the fact that it’s glowing so brightly must have meant the kiss did its magic.

* * *

Kuroo never expected to see Tsukishima a few days later, just like when he stood outside his house, Tsukishima stood outside his unit this time and in his hand was a bottle of wine.

“Here,” he said, handing Kuroo the wine. “Payment for last time. This should at least cost as much as the dinner you paid.”

“What?” was what Kuroo could only say as he blinked his eyes in surprise. “No! That dinner was on me, you don’t have to do something like this.”

“Just take it so I wouldn’t feel bad.”

Tsukishima thought if he say something like that he would surely take it. But Kuroo insisted not to take it as he shook his head. Tsukishima was left with no choice but to say that, or he would seriously feel bad if he doesn’t take the wine.

“Just take it. We could drink it…while we eat dinner,” he said before averting his gaze and he felt the weight in his hand vanished as Kuroo took the bottle right away before opening the door.

Tsukishima followed behind. He didn’t notice it last time but Kuroo’s unit was spacious and the glass windows in particular stood out as it overlook the City of Tokyo, the famous Sky Tree lit with lights could be seen clearly from the distance.

“Since you brought the drink, I’ll cook dinner,” Kuroo said as he went over the kitchen and Tsukishima walk ahead the living room.

“Let’s see what we have here,” Kuroo muttered as he opened his fridge. “Tsukki! Does pasta sound alright to you?” he yelled over the kitchen counter and Tsukishima looked behind.

“Sure,” Tsukishima said.

“You can look around while I cook,” Kuroo said before turning back to the kitchen.

Tsukishima really have nothing else to do but to do just that.

The first thing he notice were the frames by the wall. Mostly from his high school Volleyball Team. Then he saw his graduation picture with his friends from the Volleyball Club. There was another graduation photo but it wasn’t Kuroo’s graduation but Kenma’s. He stood there beside Kenma and they look happy.

“They should have been perfect together,” he said as he remembered what Hinata almost said last time.

It wasn’t just him, everyone thought they were each other’s fated pair. By this time Tsukishima no longer want to comprehend what that old man in the moon was thinking when he decided to connect their thread.

“Thread,” Tsukishima lifted his hand, the thread still glow, flowing lightly towards where Kuroo is.

He shook his head before he went over the other side, this time he saw a shelf full of trophies and awards from his Volleyball career. Even now it’s clear that Kuroo doesn’t want to let go of it yet, he even ended up working for the Japan Volleyball Association.

“Tsukki!” Kuroo called and Tsukishima went over the kitchen.

He didn’t even know he’s been looking around the living room that long and Kuroo already finished cooking.

It was right as they were finish eating when Tsukishima just let that statement slide out of his mouth.

“Does it not bother you, Kuroo-san,” he said and Kuroo’s hand seemingly froze as he held the glass of wine. “I mean, we’re both guys. I’m definitely sure you’re straight. So does this not bother you?”

Kuroo downed the liquor in a gulp before he put the glass down on the table and stood up, walking over to Tsukishima’s side before he held his chin to make him look at him.

“I wonder what I should do to convince you this doesn’t bother me at all,” he said, his thumb caressing his bottom lip. “It seems a kiss isn’t enough. I wonder what I should do.”

Even if he said that, he still leaned in to kiss him. But Tsukishima knew it wouldn’t end with just a kiss this time.

He didn’t even know if he stood up on his own accord or Kuroo pulled him up, but Tsukishima knew he was starting to lose all sense of rationality as he let Kuroo lead the way to his room. They weren’t even in his room when Kuroo pushed him to a wall by the hallway.

“Are you sure you wanted to do this?” he asked, but the look of impatience was evident on his face.

“If this bothers you, then sto—”

Tsukishima wasn’t even able to finish when Kuroo’s lips came crashing on his lips again and the next thing he knew, his back had hit the bed.

It’s not that Tsukishima is doing this because he wanted to. When he thought about it after he kissed him last time, Tsukishima thought he must have felt something in him and he kept questioning himself if what he’s feeling is even right or not. If he do something further than just a kiss, he thought he would stop questioning himself and come up with an answer.

But it seems Tsukishima has to think about it later as his mind slowly went blank.

The skin where Kuroo touch him slowly burned and soon enough his whole body is already heating up. It was completely different and when Tsukishima looked at Kuroo who hovered above him, he knew there’s no turning back.

“Damn it,” he muttered as he closed his eyes, feeling his lips on his neck right after, sucking on every spot before he found the one where Tsukishima felt the most stirring.

Then he felt his hand held his wrist and made him turn around, Tsukishima didn’t even notice he already got rid of the article of clothing as Kuroo leaned closely behind.

“Is this your first time doing this from behind?” Kuroo whispered in his ear and Tsukishima almost shivered before he frowned.

“Are you kidding me? Do you think I let anyone do me from the back?”

“So it’s your first time,” he said. “Then bear with this for a while.”

Tsukishima didn’t even know what he’s talking about until he felt it. The gasp that escaped his mouth was loud as his eyes watered. It was painful and uncomfortable, the foreign feeling of something being shove inside made him hissed and gripped the bed sheet.

“Relax,” Kuroo cooed.

“D-Do you really have to do something like this? It hurts,” he muttered before his head fell on the bed and his hand gripped the sheet tighter.

“Of course, you should be able to take me in.”

“That’s bullshit,”

It only took a few seconds but Tsukishima felt like an hour already passed. Kuroo leaned towards the nightstand and grabbed something that Tsukishima didn’t bother looking at. Then he felt something cold behind and he flinched.

“Alright, I’m going to put it in now.”

Tsukishima didn’t even have a second to breathe in when he gasped again at the sudden pain, it feels like it came up to his throat and his body is being tear in half. It was actually so painful he forgot to breathe as he felt Kuroo’s hand pry open his mouth.

“Breathe in slowly,” he said as Tsukishima felt his mouth salivating before started to breathe in. “I wouldn’t move yet, just breathe.”

He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself or he might pass out.

“I’m fine, juts move,” Tsukishima muttered.

He felt his lips on his back, kissing it lightly as if to reassure him before he moved and Tsukishima’s mind went completely blank.

* * *

Tsukishima woke up in the middle of the night, he doesn’t even know why he woke up but when he blinked his eyes open, he noticed Kuroo holding his hand, the thread being the source of light in the dimly lit room other than the lampshade beside the bed.

“Kuroo-san?” he muttered as he slowly try to sit up but his hips in particular still hurts, so he just stayed there.

“Did you know,” Kuroo started and when he heard Tsukishima hummed lightly, he continued. “What makes this red string of fate more interesting than any legends about soulmates?”

“What?” Tsukishima asked, just to entertain the thought. But he was actually curious about what Kuroo is going to say.

He held his hand up as well and put it beside Tsukishima’s hand, their pinky fingers touching together.

“There is a thin vein that runs from the heart to our hand. It was called the ulnar artery that connects the heart with the pinky finger.” Kuroo’s hand trailed up Tsukishima’s arm, slowly, making goosebump rise to his arm. “But it doesn’t end there, it extends through the indiscernible world, the red thread that ends its course to someone else’s heart.”

Then Kuroo’s hand stopped right above Tsukishima’s chest where his heart beats.

He let Kuroo’s words sink in for a few seconds before Tsukishima pulled the sheet up and shrugged his hand, turning around with his back facing Kuroo. “You sure know a lot, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo didn’t say anything, his eyes fix on the thread around his finger that started to glow again, as if matching Tsukishima’s heart slowly beating faster and faster.

* * *

What Tsukishima thought would be a one-time event, because he was certain that he doesn’t want a repeat of that night, happened numerous times. The second time, Kuroo picked him up from work and Tsukishima spend the weekend in Tokyo.

The third time was last night as Tsukishima woke up in his room, the curtain half-drawn and the sound of the shower drifting in the background as he rolled on the bed.

“I think…” Tsukishima started as he lie on his back and stare up the ceiling. “I think I already got my answer.”

As he closed his eyes, listening to the drifting sound of the shower, his mind lulled him back to last night.

They agreed to do a trial, if this set-up would turn out well, Tsukishima really don’t mind.

But when he thought about what Kuroo said the night before, Tsukishima realized he couldn’t stay like this, after all.

The sound of the shower stopped, and a second later Kuroo emerged from the bathroom, steam behind him as he headed over the closet. Tsukishima opened his eyes before he sat up and gathered his clothes.

“Have breakfast before you leave, Tsukki,” Kuroo said as he pulled a shirt and turned to Tsukishima. “I’ll drive you to the station before I go to work.”

Tsukishima stood up after tucking his clothes. “No, I’ll go somewhere.”

“Then, I’ll drive you there.”

“It’s fine. You should go to work.”

Kuroo followed him towards the hallway. “Are you not going to have breakfast before you leave?”

Tsukishima just shook his head no before he stopped by the door and Kuroo held his arm, making him stop as he turned to face Kuroo.

“I’ll see you next week?”

“Sure,”

Kuroo shouldn’t have been surprise to hear that dry response, he was always like that. So as he let go of his arm, he watched as Tsukishima stepped outside before the door closed behind him. It’s always been like this, a routine was what it became to the two of them. And Kuroo thought that slowly, gradually, maybe they’re starting to be something close to being called a lover.

Lover?

Tsukishima kept thinking about it.

If there’s someone that everyone thought would be best fitted to be his lover, it would be him.

And that’s where Tsukishima is heading, to Kenma’s house.

When he got there, Kenma seem surprise at first, looking behind Tsukishima but when he didn’t see Kuroo, his surprise turned to a visible frown.

“I came here alone,” Tsukishima said before Kenma stepped to the side, letting him in.

They headed to the living room before Kenma excused himself to the kitchen and took two glasses of hot cocoa since it’s winter already.

“Kuroo already told me,” Kenma started. He wasn’t that close to Tsukishima but they weren’t strangers so as to not speak to each other.

“When?”

“When he disappeared during the get-together.”

Tsukishima didn’t think Kuroo would tell him as early as that, he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut about it that he had to tell someone right away.

“Why did you come here?” Kenma asked, cutting right to the matter at hand.

Tsukishima’s gaze travelled to Kenma’s hand. Somewhere around his finger, there is a thread.

“Kenma-san,” Tsukishima started before his gaze flickered up to him. “How did you manage to cut it?”

“Cut what?”

“The thread. Kuroo-san told me. How did you manage to cut it? I heard about second chance fate. So there must be a third and a fourth.”

“And you’re planning to cut it?” Kenma’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Why?”

“If I don’t do it now,” Tsukishima paused before he looked down on his hand. “We will surely regret it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t need to tell you everything. Just tell me how you managed to cut it.” Those words may have sounded rude but Tsukishima couldn’t have said it any other way.

“Cut the thread, huh?” Kenma muttered before he looked down on his hand as well. “You’re asking for the impossible.”

“Then how come Kuroo-san told me…” Tsukishima trailed off and his brows slowly furrowed.

“Ah seriously?” Kenma said, his hand went up his forehead as he rubbed his temple. “Kuro should learn how to rephrase his words or it might spark misunderstanding.”

Tsukishima watched as Kenma shook his head before he put his hand down and looked at him.

“I didn’t cut it. It was impossible to cut. I don’t know anything about second chance fate, but threads couldn’t be cut. In our case, our threads..” Kenma lifted his hand before he continued. “..weren’t connected to begin with.”

Tsukishima’s frown deepened.

“You are Kuro’s first fated pair. So I’m going to ask you again, why do you want to cut it? Aren’t you being cruel to him?”

Tsukishima was silent for a second before his gaze trailed down his hand. “Like you said, Kenma-san, I was just being cruel.”

Tsukishima stood up before he bowed slightly. “I’ll take my leave now. Thank you.”

He turned around and was ready to leave when Kenma spoke.

“It’s not like you’re going to die or something,” Kenma said and Tsukishima stopped. “Are you?”

“Kenma-san, can I ask you something?” Tsukishima started as he turned slightly to Kenma. “Don’t tell Kuroo-san about this meeting.”

If anything, Kenma isn’t the type to pry on someone’s business. And even though Kuroo is his friend, he just couldn’t discard the fact that this matter is something he shouldn’t interfere.

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Tsukishima smiled slightly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes before he turned around and left.

Something that is impossible to do. Cutting the thread, Tsukishima thought.

“It seems Kuroo-san will suffer soon. I’m cruel,” Tsukishima paused before he looked up. “But you’re more cruel.”

Even if it’s daytime, the moon could be faintly seen. The moonrise was what Tsukishima usually call it.

* * *

“Are you not going to invite me over to your place?” Kuroo asked one time as they sat on the couch, watching some re-runs of a series that Tsukishima didn’t bother remembering the title.

It’s just the usual normal Friday night.

But then Kuroo had to open that topic up. Tsukishima knew he would ask sooner or later.

“Sure. Let’s go tomorrow,” Tsukishima said nonchalantly, his eyes fixed on the television but he doesn’t seem interested in the show at all.

Kuroo’s grin widen before he engulfed Tsukishima in a hug, the latter just sat there with a deadpan expression.

Really, it’s just the usual normal Friday night.

The next day they drove to Sendai City. Kuroo has been to Miyagi only a few times but the scenery isn’t much different to the suburban part of Tokyo where he used to live when he was young. As they got to Tsukishima’s house, he went in first, Kuroo following closely behind as he look over Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Don’t expect too much. My house isn’t as big as yours.”

Kuroo didn’t seem to hear him as he let himself in, taking off his shoes before he headed to the living room as he looked around. Tsukishima doesn’t get why he seem so excited like a kid opening up a present. This is just a house, a commoner’s house, nothing to be excited about.

“Kuroo-san, I’ll just go make some dinner. Feel free to look around.”

Even if Tsukishima don’t say it, Kuroo is already looking around the living room, considering there aren’t much to look. Kuroo turned to Tsukishima before he spoke.

“How about I help you make dinner?”

Tsukishima flinched slightly in surprise, it was the first time he offered something like that. He adjusted his glasses before he nodded and Kuroo followed him to the kitchen. They made a simple dinner for the two of them, ate in silence and Kuroo even helped him with washing the dishes.

“You know Tsukki, we’re practically like a married couple now,” Kuroo said right as they were heading to the living room. Tsukishima, who is drying his hands, froze when he heard what Kuroo said.

When Kuroo didn’t hear anything, he stopped and turned around to face Tsukishima to see him standing there.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, Tsukki, that just slipped out of my mouth. I would be careful next time.”

“Kuroo-san, do you want to drink?” Tsukishima asked instead. He didn’t even wait for Kuroo’s answer as he turned back around. “I’ll go get us something to drink, you go on ahead.”

Kuroo watched as Tsukishima went back to the kitchen before he sighed and went to the living room. Tsukishima came back after a while with two cans of what look like beers as he sat on the couch beside Kuroo. He handed him a can before Tsukishima took a sip of his.

“Kuroo-san,” he said after a moment, putting the can down as his elbows rested on his knees, he wasn’t looking at Kuroo, his head was inclined and Kuroo couldn’t see his eyes.

“Do you want to get married?”

It was a question that took Kuroo by utter surprise. It was then he realized, does he want to get married? He has always lived a carefree life but it was the first time he started to contemplate it. 

“I do,” Kuroo’s voice was just a mere whisper but in the midst of the silent living room Tsukishima heard it loud and clear.

He still has his head inclined, the thread started to glow. “Then you must also want to have kids.”

“What? No! That’s not it, I-I don’t..” Kuroo trailed off as Tsukishima slowly lifted his head and looked at him.

“Kuroo-san,” he started. “I think I’m—”

Tsukishima was cut off when he felt a sudden splitting headache followed by the ringing in his ear before he bit his tongue and hissed. Kuroo frowned when he noticed Tsukishima and he instinctively moved closer to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just…wait here for a sec,” Tsukishima muttered before he stood up and Kuroo watched him disappear by the hallway to where he think his room was located.

It wasn’t until he heard something fell that Kuroo spring up to his feet and run up to Tsukishima’s room to see him on the floor. He doesn’t know why, maybe it was just the fact that he’s surprise or the adrenaline that came rushing earlier, but his heart suddenly started to beat faster, thumping on his chest loudly he could practically hear it.

“I told you to wait…Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima muttered when he saw him beside him.

“What do you mean wait? What’s wrong?” Kuroo asked, his voice laced with concern and his heart continued to pound and beat faster.

His eyes were focus on Tsukishima that he wasn’t able to see the bottles of medicines on the floor right away until his eyes landed on the one Tsukishima was holding. His gaze travelled down on the floor before he slowly took one and read the description on the bottle.

“Tsukki, these are strong painkillers,” he muttered slowly before he looked at Tsukishima. “Why are you taking these?”

“Kuroo-san, I told to wai—” Tsukishima grunted before his body fell limp on Kuroo’s chest.

He doesn’t want to think about anything, not any of the possibilities why Tsukishima was taking those strong painkillers, Kuroo wanted to keep his mind as blank as possible as he drove to Sendai General Hospital.

He sat by the hallway, and he felt like hours had passed as he waited there. He didn’t even realize the doctor called and Kuroo found himself in the room where Tsukishima was admitted, sleeping soundly.

It was then everything started to register to him. The smell of disinfectant, people wearing white lab coats, the bright and dull place. He’s in the hospital and the doctor is telling him something that Kuroo couldn’t quite grasp.

“It’s a terminal illness,” he said.

There are many kinds of terminal illness but Kuroo’s mind completely shut any noises around after hearing those two dreaded words came out of the doctor’s mouth.

When the doctor left, Kuroo fell on the chair beside the bed. His eyes travelled to Tsukishima and to his thin hands resting atop the sheet.

Slowly, Kuroo’s hand found the comfort of Tsukishima’s hand, clasping them together. Tsukishima’s hand was cold. “As long as this thread remain visible, it’ll be fine.”

Kuroo closed his eyes tightly, bringing Tsukishima’s hand closed to him.

Then he heard a voice.

“Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima muttered, his eyes slowly opening, adjusting to the lights up the ceiling but he couldn’t see much without his glasses. He saw the blurry image of Kuroo and he couldn’t tell if he’s crying or not.

“Stop,” Tsukishima said lowly. “It’s not like I’m going to die right this instant or something.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kuroo asked. “If you’re in pain, you should’ve told me. If you can no longer handle it, you should’ve told me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“If I told you, will I be cured?” Tsukishima asked, his voice a bit louder as he took his hand back.

That made Kuroo stopped for a second before he spoke again. “But still, I could’ve at least done something. That time, in the get-together, you weren’t really drunk, were you? You just fainted. Just how many times have you fainted like that?”

Tsukishima was quiet for a moment.

“Kuroo-san, I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. “Not now, not tomorrow or the day after that.”

Silence engulfed them after that. The atmosphere turned heavy and almost suffocating. Tsukishima thought he would have at least forget the smell of the hospital momentarily, at least for a while, he did. But now that he’s back here again, Tsukishima was reminded of what little time he has left.

“Kuroo-san,”

His voice shattered the silence and Kuroo looked at Tsukishima.

“The things you told me before, the things you wanted to do to make me feel something towards you,” he trailed off, averting his gaze before he closed his eyes. “Those lame things that you want to do, let’s do it now…before it’s too late.”

Tsukishima wasn’t able to see, but he knew, he knew the tears started to fall. Not from his eyes but from Kuroo’s eyes and Tsukishima knew, just like as he always told himself. The person who has the other end of the thread, the person whose thread is connected to his, that person will suffer more than they realize. And now, Tsukishima thought, Kuroo is suffering.

But instead of pity, what Tsukishima felt was an indescribable sadness flowing through him.

Sadness knowing that sooner, he would be gone.

* * *

A few days later after being discharged from the Hospital, Kuroo took Tsukishima to Tokyo. Since it’s the holidays and Christmas and New Year is almost near, he doesn’t have much work to do.

“What’s this?” Tsukishima asked after taking a note from Kuroo.

“I told you I listed down everything that we’ll be doing.”

Tsukishima look at the note and sure enough, it was written on the paper all the things that Kuroo plan to do through the course of holidays.

And the first thing on the list is—“Arcade?” Tsukishima asked.

“Yep. I used to go to arcades with my friends back in high school. It was fun so I thought maybe I could bring you to one of the best arcades in Tokyo.”

“Ah, I see,” Tsukishima muttered before he stood up and headed to the hallway.

He stopped by the door as Kuroo took a coat and handed it to Tsukishima before he lifted his hand and held his face. “But if you feel in pain, tell me, we’ll go home right away.”

“Tch, let’s just go,” Tsukishima said, pulling his coat before he walked out the door.

There weren’t much arcades in Miyagi, if anything it wasn’t as futuristic as the ones in Tokyo. And it’s not like Tsukishima had any time to go to arcades after club activities, he would usually go straight home after practice. So he really didn’t know what to expect when they got to Akihabara.

“Taito HEY, one of Tokyo’s best, if not the best, arcades. Ah, youths who come here after school, this place sure brings back a lot of memories,” Kuroo said, outstretching his arms to the side for emphasis, earning a few stares from the passer-by.

“I don’t know this guy, I don’t know this guy,” Tsukishima muttered as he started to walk.

“Hey Tsukki! Where should we start?” Kuroo asked as he run up to him.

Tsukishima just shrugged his shoulders and let Kuroo lead him to wherever.

The arcade was particularly beautiful when night fell. The whole place was lit with lights. As they walked outside a gaming store, Kuroo noticed Tsukishima rubbing his forehead.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, the place was just too loud.”

There were many people as the night got deeper and considering that it’s the holidays, more students got more time to go to places like this.

“Should we go back?” Kuroo asked and Tsukishima just nodded without thinking much about it.

When he realized he actually agreed, he looked at Kuroo. “But it’s fine, Kuroo-san. If you still want to go somewhere.”

Kuroo put his arm on Tsukishima’s shoulder before he started to walk. “Let’s go back, Tsukki,” he said, his usual grin plastered on his face.

The second thing that was on the list was an amusement park.

Tsukishima doesn’t particularly like the place nor dislike it. There were more people here than in the arcade but the place is more spacious. Screams from people riding the rides like the roller coaster stood out in particular.

“Let’s go ride that one last, Tsukki,” Kuroo said, pointing at the park’s main attraction.

“Ferris wheel,” Tsukishima muttered.

After trying out quite a few rides, Kuroo noticed that the sun is already setting as he pulled Tsukishima to the Ferris wheel. As Tsukishima sat there across Kuroo, the Ferris wheel started to move.

The sky was beautiful that afternoon and Tsukishima wanted to save the image to his mind if it’s possible. The afternoon sky is smudge with orange hue and purple value as the sun set behind the tall buildings, bidding its farewell to this side of the world.

“It’s beautiful,” Tsukishima said, looking far ahead in the distance. “The view from here.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo answered. “It is,” he said, but he wasn’t looking at the far distance. He was seeing a different view than what Tsukishima is seeing, but Kuroo really couldn’t find any difference between the sky and the guy sitting across him.

* * *

“I plan to invite those guys from Karasuno and Fukurodani over this New Year’s Eve,” Kuroo said as he walked from the kitchen to the living room where Tsukishima sat on the couch.

“What about Christmas Eve? It’s tomorrow.”

Kuroo sat beside Tsukishima before inching close to him, snaking his arms around him as Tsukishima adjusted himself, making it so that he is leaning slightly on Kuroo’s chest.

“I told you Tsukki,” Kuroo started, leaning in close to his ear. “I want you all to myself this Christmas.”

Tsukishima didn’t say anything after hearing that, Kuroo looked down slightly, he could see his ears turning red and Kuroo just couldn’t help but shower him with kisses.

But it seems there would be a change in plans when Tuskishima got a line message the next morning. His phone vibrated and it woke Tsukishima up as he rolled around the bed, prying Kuroo’s arm from his torso, at least he didn’t have an iron grip this time.

Tsukishima took his glasses and phone before reading the message and a second later Kuroo started to stir in his sleep.

“Hmm? Tsukki, who’s that?” Kuroo asked, his voice still groggy from sleep but he noticed Tsukishima looking down on his phone.

He rolled to the side and buried his face behind Tsukishima.

“It’s my brother,” Tsukishima answered. “He asked me if I could go back to Sendai tonight.”

Kuroo leaned out as he looked at Tsukishima, the sleep in his system already vanishing away as he sat up on the bed.

“Should I go?” Tsukishima asked when Kuroo kept quiet for a few seconds.

“Huh? What? Of course, you should!”

“But you said you want to spend Christmas Eve—” Tsukishima was cut off when he felt Kuroo’s lips sealed his for a split second.

“It’s fine, they’re your family.”

Tsukishima’s phone vibrated again and he looked down to read another message as Kuroo watched him.

“Oh, and mom said they wanted to meet you.”

“Eh?”

Kuroo absolutely didn’t expect he would meet them so soon like that. Sure, their relationship wasn’t a secret anymore, at least not to the ones they are closest with, like his and Tsukishima’s family. But Kuroo haven’t met them once.

“Relax, Kuroo-san, my family consist of ordinary people,” Tsukishima said as he sat by the passenger seat with Kuroo driving back to Sendai.

“Eh? What do you mean? I’m totally not nervous.”

Tsukishima didn’t say anything, even if Kuroo say that, Tsukishima could see how nervous he is. He isn’t doing a very good job at hiding it.

“Just…act like your usual self, Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima said, looking outside the window as he propped his elbows and his chin rested on his palm, watching as the surrounding blurred by and the scenery changed from tall buildings to small houses and farm.

Perhaps that was the best thing Tsukishima could have told Kuroo. To just be himself, he doesn’t need to act like some perfect kind of guy, just act like himself and the way Tsukishima said that, even so nonchalantly, sounded as though reassuring enough that Kuroo felt the slightest upturn of his lips turn into a smile.

They arrived at Tsukishima residence just around dinner.

“Kei,” his brother greeted him when Tsukishima stepped inside the house, Kuroo right behind him like a shy kid on his first day of school.

“Mom, Kei is here!” Akiteru yelled from the hallway to where Tsukishima think their mom is in the kitchen, probably busy arranging dinner.

Kuroo looked over Tsukishima’s shoulder and Akiteru noticed him as he stare at Kuroo, his eyes blinking a few times before a look of recognition passed through and he smiled.

“Ah, you must be Tetsurou-san?” he said and Kuroo stepped to the side before he bowed slightly. “Kei sent me a photo of you so I’m kinda familiar with how you look but you look quite intimidating in person.”

“Ah, not really,” Kuroo said with a closed-eyed smile as he rubbed the back of his head. “I used to be a really shy boy back then. But, pictures? I didn’t know Tsukki send my pictures to his family.”

Kuroo opened his eyes and looked at Tsukishima. “Right, Tsukki? You didn’t tell me anything about i—”

Kuroo flinched slightly when he realized Tsukishima was glaring at his brother, and he’s projecting a scary aura that even Akiteru averted his gaze before he excused himself.

“Tch, my brother really don’t know how to shut his mouth,” Tsukishima muttered before he proceeded farther inside, Kuroo following closely behind.

“Kei, welcome home,” Tsukishima’s mother greeted him when he stepped in the kitchen before she looked over to Tsukishima.

“Good evening,” Kuroo said as he bowed.

“Ah, you must be Tetsurou-kun. Come, let’s have our dinner before the food gets cold.”

The dinner was silent, save for some chatter here and there. Kuroo instantly felt at home, in this warm and cozy abode as he eat dinner with Tsukishima’s family.

“Kei, why don’t you two spend the evening here?”

Tsukishima was about to decline, since he still has an apartment and it’s just a few minute drive from here. But Kuroo spoke before he did.

“Thank you. We actually plan to stay over for the night,” he said with a smile before looking at Tsukishima.

Tsukishima knew Kuroo just wanted to see his old room and maybe find some things from his childhood, he knew that smile all too well now and Tsukishima just sighed.

“Alright, we’ll stay,” he said before he stood up.

Kuroo followed him to his room. It hasn’t change much from when Tsukishima graduated high school. There is still the shelf full of books, of course he got rid of the dinosaur figures and put them all in a box, just for keepsake. Kuroo looked around the room, there was a bed near the wall and window, at least the bed seems enough for the two of them.

“Ah Tsukki! Who knew you have this?” Kuroo said as he saw a volleyball resting by the bottom shelf. “It seems I’m not the only one who still thinks about the nostalgic memory of our high school volleyball career.”

Tsukishima walked towards Kuroo, taking the ball as he looked at it for a second. The longer he stared at it, his memories from when he was a child started to resurface.

“This was a gift from my brother,” he said before Tsukishima put the ball back on the shelf.

“Before I forget, Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima started as he took a small box. “Merry Christmas.”

Kuroo’s eyes widen as he blinked numerous times before slowly taking the box and opened it.

Resting inside is a wristwatch, the colour is a combination of black and a violet moon design in the middle. Kuroo took it out and before he handed it to Tsukishima who frowned slightly.

“You’re supposed to put it around,” he said and Tsukishima fought the urge to roll his eyes but he did put it anyways.

“I just got a lame gift, I don’t know what you particularly li—”

Tsukishima was cut off when Kuroo held his face and his lips came crashing on his lips. The kiss started off slow yet it deliberately became faster, rougher and more needy as Tsukishima held his wrists and slightly tugged it down before he leaned out, catching a much needed oxygen. He could feel his ears heating up as Tsukishima leaned his forehead on Kuroo’s shoulder.

“Kuroo-san, you know you don’t have to do that. You could have just thanked me.”

Kuroo’s smile was evident yet Tsukishima didn’t see it. But when Kuroo spoke, he knew he is smiling.

“I have my own way of thanking you, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima still couldn’t look him in the eye, not when he knows that his face is as red as a tomato. But he still leaned out a little to look at Kuroo.

“You’re aware that we’re at my parents’ house.”

“I know,” Kuroo said before he lifted his hand, his finger to his lips in a shushing manner. “We’ll just have to keep it down.”

Tsukishima furrowed his brows before he looked down. “How about you keep it down instead?”

Kuroo followed where his gaze is and when he realized what Tsukishima was talking about, his face turned red.

“I’m going to sleep,” Tsukishima said as he turned around.

“No, Tsukki, this is just…not what you think it is.”

* * *

A week after that, it’s New Year. Kuroo did end up inviting over the guys to his unit, considering that he’s living in an upscale apartment complex. But since there were quite a lot who showed up, his living room isn’t enough to host all of them so he asked the manager if they could use the rooftop. Kuroo knew the man is a fan of V-League and when he saw three of the well-known Division 1 V-League players, two from MYSBY and one from Schweiden, Kuroo instantly got the permission with just a simple autograph from Kageyama, Hinata and Bokuto.

The rooftop is already decorated with light bulbs and there were benches and table by the side. It also offered a great view of the Skytree by the distance as the night deepen.

“They seem to be having fun,” Tsukishima said as he leaned on the glass railing, a bottle of liquor in hand but before he could take a sip, Kuroo snatched it away. “What the—Kuroo-san,”

“Nah, you can’t drink liquor,” he reprimanded Tsukki before he handed him a glass of some citrus juice before he looked ahead to where everyone was.

“Yeah, it’s fun.”

The laughter of those guys, chatter and the beat of the bass music in the background, Tsukishima wanted to remember all of it when his time runs out. But he can’t say it out loud, not when Kuroo is smiling so genuinely like that. Tsukishima doesn’t want to see his smile turns into a frown again, or that his smile wouldn’t reach his eyes.

But there’s one thing Tsukishima found himself saying out loud.

“Do you ever wish you could just stop time itself?”

His voice was just a mere whisper compare to the noise around, Tsukishima didn’t even know if Kuroo heard it or not. But even if Kuroo heard it, he didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he smiled with his eyes closed as he turned to Tsukishima.

“Hey, wanna ditch these guys?” he leaned in close to his ears before he continued. “Let’s go somewhere quiet.”

Tsukishima just shook his head before he turned around and propped his elbows on the railing and looked up at the night sky. “It’s quiet here,” he said.

“Huh?” Kuroo looked around before he turned to Tsukishima. Even though they are in a corner, a little distance from everyone, Kuroo could still hear the noises around.

“When I’m with you, Kuroo-san, everything seems to fall in silence and you’re the only one I could hear.”

Kuroo felt his blood run up to his face before he felt it heat up. As the clock ticks its final seconds to midnight, Tsukishima willed himself to say it.

“Look, Kuroo-san, this would be the only time I would say this, so listen,” Tsukishima started, downing the liquid in the glass and only realizing it was a citrus juice instead of the liquor that Kuroo took away earlier, he closed his eyes and as the clock turned 12, fireworks lit the heavens with million starlings.

“I…love you, Kuroo-san. I love you to the moon and ba—”

He didn’t even get the chance to finish when Tsukishima was cut off by Kuroo’s lips sealing his in a kiss more passionate than anything he had given him. Though it didn’t last as long as the ones before, Kuroo leaned out after a moment before he leaned his forehead on Tsukishima.

“I love you to the moon, let’ not go back, Tsukki. Let’s stay there, forever, just the two of us.”

It was a night full of happiness and cheers as they welcome another year. With the fireworks above, like a thousand stars have showered the city, Kuroo saw the first time Tsukishima smiled so genuinely and so warm like that. And he thought, that he too, wish that he could just stop time itself.

But just like cutting the thread that, as well, is impossible.

And everything would eventually lead to where fate pulls them towards, a place and time and event that is inevitable and inescapable.

The future.

* * *

Tsukishima should have known, more than anyone that there are things in this world that couldn’t be controlled, whenever there’s happiness, sadness is always bound to follow. And maybe he shouldn’t have been too caught up in the moment that he almost forgot how his life can end any time soon.

So fleeting and short-lived.

That’s why he cursed the old man in the moon for tying a thread around him and connecting it to the thread of that one person that Tsukishima doesn’t want to see suffer.

“Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima muttered, blinking his eyes open and he was welcomed by the familiar white blurry ceiling and the smell of disinfectant. “What happened?”

“You fainted again,” Kuroo said, this time he doesn’t seem to be crying like the first time he brought him to the hospital. But his tone sounded low and dejected, Tsukishima doesn’t want to hear that. “The doctor said you need to stay here for a while. I’ll just go get some of your things back in your house, will you be fine if I leave for a while?”

Tsukishima nodded. He really couldn’t say anything as he felt the heaviness of his eyelids dropping down as slumber took him in. When Tsukishima’s eyes closed and his breath became even and calm and Kuroo had stood up, it was then the first tear fell down his eye. But Kuroo wiped it quickly, shaking his head before he took a deep breath.

“Just be strong, Tetsurou,” he told himself. “For him, too.”

Tsukishima felt like he had slept for a hundred years. There are times when he would wake up but his mind would drift back to oblivion again. He is in and out of consciousness and he had lost track of time, whether it’s day or night or how many days had already gone by. Sometimes he would hear voices, familiar ones from his friends and family. Then during the night, he thought, it was the familiar voice of a man. Kuroo’s voice, that seems to lull him back to sleep.

It was a week later, while Kuroo was walking through the hallway of the hospital, when he saw a familiar person waiting outside Tsukishima’s room.

“Kenma?”

Kenma looked up before he pushed himself from the wall. “Kuro,” he said, averting his gaze. “I came to visit.”

Kuroo’s smile came to his face, but it wasn’t as bright as before nor did it reach his eyes. “Tsukki would like that.”

Tsukishima was still sleeping when they got inside the room. But then the nurse and doctor came a few minutes later and Kenma and Kuroo headed outside for a while. They were just walking aimlessly, Kuroo seem to be going where his feet would take him. And it took him to the hospital’s rooftop with Kenma following behind.

It is still early in the day so there aren’t much people and patients and the rooftop is spacious as Kuroo and Kenma went to a vacant bench.

Kenma thought he should at least speak, he never like talkative people but when Kuroo is silent like this, he doesn’t like it more.

“Kuro, you know,” he started. “Tsukishima and I weren’t that close, we have spoken a few words back in high school, but we aren’t that close.”

Kuroo smiled again, looking right ahead as he leaned in on the bench.

“So I was really surprise when he came to my house that time.”

“What?” Kuroo asked, his head turn to Kenma. “Tsukki never told me anything about that.”

“He told me not to tell you, too. So I really didn’t know if I should be telling you this or not.”

“It’s fine,” Kuroo said. “If Tsukki asked you not to tell me, don’t tell me. It’s fine, cause he will tell it to me himself.”

Kenma felt the slightest upturn of his lips before he stood up.

“Just stay strong,” he said. “I’m not good with this kind of thing but that’s the only thing I could tell you. Don’t give up, Kuro.”

“When have I ever given up?”

* * *

“Did Kenma-san come earlier?” Tsukishima asked that night, he was awake but he couldn’t sit up, his body felt numb and he couldn’t move his hands.

“Yeah,”

“I thought I heard his voice,” Tsukishima muttered before he closed his eyes. But he didn’t fall asleep, he just closed his eyes because it felt heavy. “Did he tell you?”

“No,” Kuroo answered. “Whatever it was, I’ll let you decide whether you want to tell me or not.”

There was silence afterwards, it was the kind of silence that made Kuroo scared sometimes. When he doesn’t know if Tsukishima had fallen asleep or…

“But do you want to know?”

His voice made Kuroo release a breath of relief before he walked up to him and sat on the chair beside the bed.

“Sure, tell me.”

Tsukishima slowly lifted his hand, even though it’s numb and shaking, Kuroo immediately took it and held his hand.

“The thread,” Tsukishima started, opening his eyes to look at Kuroo. “I asked him how to cut it. Kenma-san told me I was asking for the impossible.”

“You…” Kuroo trailed off, letting his words sink in to his mind. “…you wanted to cut our thread?”

The thread that glowed ever so faintly now like a bulb that’s starting to run out of light. Kuroo doesn’t know why he would ask for something as cruel as that. And he is at a loss for words to say anything at this point so Tsukishima continued.

“The thread that binds the souls of two individuals for eternity. I always wonder what will happen if one of those two die first. Will the thread stay connected to the thread of the person who passed on, or will it snap once the other person cross the land over yonder? I always wonder…what the answer is.”

Kuroo knew, he knew the answer. It was a child’s curiosity that prompted him to ask the same question to his parents before. Because the thread is impossible to cut, it will connect them even if one passed on. Like a butterfly whose flower wilted, eventually the butterfly would soon wither as well, because it will never look for another flower. Or perhaps even more than that metaphor, like two swans under the moonlit lake, when one of them died, the other would not look for another swan and spend the rest of its days weeping the death of its other half.

But Kuroo also knew, that cutting a thread may be impossible but it is not impossible for it to snap and break or dissolve into nothingness as though it was never there to begin with.

When two people whose souls are bound together mutually agree on it, there are instances when it would eventually dissolve and vanish. Sometimes the old man in the moon is generous enough to tie another thread for a second chance fate, but most of the time he doesn’t, and he would let those people who mutually agree to break their thread wander off alone.

When Kuroo thought about it, he wonder why he would ask something like that when he was a kid.

Maybe because even back then, his subconscious knew that he would be tied to someone who is about to fall in eternal sleep sooner than later.

“Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima’s voice, even though it’s a mere whisper, brought Kuroo back from his reverie. “I want to go outside. The moon…seems to be shining brightly tonight.”

“Alright,” Kuroo said, nodding his head as he stood up. “Let’s go outside.”

The rooftop was where they headed to, where most patients who are recuperating usually stay. But there weren’t much people again this time.

“You’re right Tsukki,” Kuroo said as he sat on the bench with Tsukishima. “The moon is full tonight.”

Tsukishima looked up and slowly lifted his hand, the pale orb seems to glow brighter and the thread started to gleam like dream lanterns.

“I read somewhere…about an old way of confessing your love to someone..” Tsukishima trailed off, his hand falling down to his side as Kuroo listened to his voice, nothing more than a mere whisper but Kuroo only hear Tsukishima and no one else. And maybe it was what Tsukishima meant when he told him that when he’s with Kuroo, everything seems to fall in silence.

“The moon…is beautiful, isn’t it?” Tsukishima whispered the words that were used to confess someone’s love to another person. He looked at Kuroo, whose eyes are fixed on the celestial orb, his onyx eyes reflecting its light. “Kuroo-san, can you say that to me? I wanted to hear it from you..”

Kuroo felt like he’s about to give in to the overflowing emotion that he’s been suppressing and he would just burst into tears. But he held it down, not until he say those words that Tsukishima wanted to hear.

_Tsuki ga..kirei desune._

_月が綺麗ですね_ _\_

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Tsukishima felt something that reasons enough could never describe, something so fleeting and transcends the human capacity to describe it into words. He leaned his head to Kuroo’s shoulder, just letting in the wind carry the words he muttered to the sky before Tsukishima spoke.

The appropriate literary response to the confession.

_Shindemo iiwa_

_死んでもいいわ_

“I can die…happy, Kuroo-san.”

Once Kuroo heard those words, he completely gave in. To emotions, to tears, to everything. And as they went back to his room, his vision blurry from tears, Kuroo slowly helped Tsukishima on the bed.

He fell on the chair beside Tsukishima and just let the tears flow like rain on an autumn afternoon. And as he cried in the midst of the dimly lit room, Kuroo felt a hand touching his and Tsukishima’s eyes opened, though half-lidded and seem tired, Tsukishima still managed to look at him, even just the blurry image of Kuroo, he could at least remember he was there.

“I love you to the moon…let’s not go back, Tsukki, let’s stay there forever.” Kuroo said, holding his hand tightly, too afraid to let it go as the thread slowly glowed faintly.

Tsukishima’s lips turn up in a small smile before he answered, nothing more than a silent whisper.

“I love you to the stars…to infinity and beyond. But I can’t stay with you forever. So, Tetsurou…I’m letting go first.”

And he did.

Tsukishima had let go first, as his hand fell down even if Kuroo was gripping it so tightly. And the red glow of the thread slowly turned white as it faded, together with the life of the person Kuroo had held most dear.

* * *

They say it wasn’t the person who passed on who felt the saddest for leaving behind their loved ones but the people who were left behind who feel the most sorrow.

They also say time eventually heals all wounds.

But no matter how many days, weeks or months blurred by, Kuroo still felt the emptiness in his life. Something that only sleep can alleviate. Because only in his sleep, in those dreams, can he be with Tsukishima, reliving all the things they did together up to the very last moment of his life.

But then he would wake up and the dreams would be cut short.

So Kuroo decided to drown himself with liquor so that he would fall asleep for hours and hours until that, too, didn’t work.

And just when he was about to resort to drinking down a dozen sleeping pills someone came barging in.

“Kuro you! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Kenma yelled from the hallway as he run up to Kuroo and snatched the bottle before he threw it across the living room.

“Why’d you do that?” Kuroo asked blankly and he was about to stand up to get it when Kenma gripped him on the collar and pushed him back down.

Kenma has always been quiet and laid back. But when he snapped, he became aggressive and just say anything on his mind.

“Are you crazy?! Is this why you’re not answering my calls?! It’s not just me, even Bokuto-san and Shouyo! We’re all worried about you, you jerk! And you’re here trying to what?! Kill yourself?! Should I just throw you out this million dollar apartment unit down from the seventh floor?!”

Kuroo blinked his eyes rapidly after hearing what Kenma said. He snapped and just say those words as he huffed and panted right after. That actually cleared Kuroo’s mind for a bit as he slowly sat up when Kenma released his grip on his shirt.

“I’m…fine now, Kenma,” he muttered before propping his elbows on his knees, his head fell down and he closed his eyes tightly. “I’m just tired. I wanted to sleep but I can’t fall asleep.”

“Who would you sleep in the middle of the day?”

Kuroo didn’t even know it was already morning, the curtains in the living are drawn, obscuring the sunlight from coming through the windows.

“Do you even remember what day today is?”

Kuroo looked up before he shook his head with a frown and earned a smack at the back of the head from Kenma.

“It’s Tsukishima’s death anniver…” Kenma paused before he continued in a lower voice. “It’s his death anniversary.”

Kuroo’s eyes slowly widen when he realized it.

“You should go. I’ll clean this mess.”

Taking a five hour drive back to Miyagi, Kuroo arrived just before the sun set. The memorial where he is buried, the place that Kuroo never liked.

“Sorry, Tsukki,” he started after placing a bouquet of flowers by his tomb. “I have always avoided this place. I still don’t want to accept it, and before I knew it a year already passed.”

The wind blow, caressing his face gently with the fresh cold Miyagi breeze.

“I just can’t let go,” he said, lifting his hand as the pale thread flow gently like a feather, vanishing and fading away in the distance. The thread that isn’t connected to anyone. “I wouldn’t let go. Because I don’t want this thread to vanish completely.”

He put his hand back, before he looked up the sky. The sky that’s smudge with orange and purple, the afternoon sky that Tsukishima said he liked.

“I won’t let go, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t move on. I will stop drowning myself with sorrow, I’ll go out more frequently, show up to get-togethers, socialize and go back to work. But I wouldn’t let go. As long as this thread remains visible, as long as I can see it …”

He looked down, the wind blow again, carrying with it some of the petals from the bouquet.

“I would always be reminded of you, my moon.”

The thread.

It may tangle and stretch as oftentimes the case.

But it shall never break.

And the moon will illuminate upon the red strings of fate.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly didn’t think I’d be able to finish this story. Took me almost two weeks to write this and a whole day to edit while listening to Radwimps and a 10 hour piano compilation on YouTube. 
> 
> I hope this little piece of creativity would be discovered and read, and to those of you who haven’t found your other half, the red string of fate will eventually lead you to that person.
> 
> You may leave your thoughts about this story, I'd love to read them.


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